Peyton's Prayer

We attended a new church (a non-denominational one) with the Duncan Family last weekend and although it was much different from a Catholic mass, it was very nice. The first half is completely music and then the Preacher preaches during the last half. He is a fabulous speaker and is very intriguing to listen to. It's just very hard to think of anything outside of a Catholic mass when that is all I've ever experienced. AJ did not grow up Catholic and doesn't understand a lot about it, which neither do I, and I should, having attended a Catholic school K-12. AJ said this was the first time that he has understood what the message was about. I'm excited to go back because it's something that AJ seems passionate about. I'll need to work on getting used to the random "amens" that people blurt out and the waiving of the arms during the music, not to mention the mohawks, the pink dyed hair and the tattoos. But they emphasize that anyone and everyone is welcome. It's not that I'm "judging" people at all. I'm just not used to seeing all of that in the church environment because I honestly believe that if someone with a mohawk attended the Catholic church that I grew up in, they would be looked upon, whispered about and definitely judged.

They had a band for the music and Peyton really enjoyed it. Everyone sang along, even me, and I'm not a singer and don't feel bad for not singing in church anymore, but I felt motivated to do it. People clapped during the upbeat songs, occasionally waived their arms, and a couple people fell down to the ground--in worship, I guess. Again, I’m not making fun or anything, but have to make a point to mention it since it was so different to me from the normal Catholic mass. During one of the more serious songs there was a pause in the music where there was only background music playing and a guy went up to say a prayer in the mic. It felt very quiet in the room because it was so serious and moving and then Peyton just belted out to her pacifier, like she was really telling it all about something? And she continued on for a good part of his prayer. I’m sure it truly wasn’t all that long, but it seemed like it was to me. I used to get nervous and hot and my palms would sweat at church and restaurants when she started to get worked up, but not anymore. I just let her go on because she must have important things to say during certain times? Bless her heart. She just wants to be heard also. Although I want her to be heard, for all of you who know what the “exit plan” is……I’m still not ready to do away with it yet. You gotta do what you gotta do when extreme measures call.